Words

Words

They can built us up.

They can break us down.

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Be Good. Do Good.

Have Empathy.

Don’t judge.

Don’t assume.

Listen.

Feel.

Love.

Realize you don’t know someone else’s life, pain, or sadness.

Be kind.

Never be afraid to stand up for yourself or others, but do it calmly.

Never crumble to someone else’s anger.

Help others especially when you understand their pain.

Give more than you take.

❤️

Change

I feel a shift and I hope it is real.

I can feel a readiness that wasn’t there before.

There’s a hunger for it.

Change.

The thing that I push against.

What always holds me down.

The fear of it has often controlled me but it is what I long for.

Change.

It’s pulling me to it like a magnet and it wants me.

It needs me so I can live again.

Change.

Brrrr

I am not a cold weather person. I tell my kids all the time that I’m not cold weather Mommy. I’ll sled in the snow when it comes but not all day, I’ll ski if the time comes again (my daughter broke her little 5 year old leg skiing a few years ago), and I’ll have a snow ball fight but I can not stay outside all day in the cold. Just can’t. I’m a Summer mom. I’ll swim in the pool and play in the ocean. I even like water slides. Bring back the spring and summer! I am ready!!! So ready!

Trained

I have been trained to not be too needy. To not want someone else to be there for me. I have been taught that I shouldn’t reach out for comfort, or help, or just a shoulder to cry on. I have been tricked to believe that if I need anyone they will leave me. That once I need anything of anyone I will lose them. So I don’t. I never ask for help. I fear that when I say too much about anything that isn’t happy or funny I am less valuable. So I don’t. Not really. Occasionally I slip and say something emotional or think after someone needs me and opens up to me, that I can too. This always leads me to panic and withdraw or argue to push someone away before they push me away. Beat them at their own game I guess. I realize this isn’t normal. I wish being aware of things helped make them better. I think it’s suppose to. It doesn’t. It saddens me….this is when I usually start to joke to deflect from all the raw emotions stated above but today I won’t. I’ll just end it here.