Disappearing isn’t an act…

So, dear hubby has been gone since Thursday at 9:00am (it is currently Sunday night. 4 days). I’ve been single parenting since then but seriously, when has this ever been a co-parenting situation. He hasn’t returned either of our daughter’s voicemails but he did reply to my frustrated text from last night, this morning. My text was about the kids being confused and sad about his disappearance. About me getting a phone for the 3 of them to communicate on only. He text back around 10:30am said “I do care.” “More than I’ll ever know.” “I’m sorry”. I couldn’t reply right away and I didn’t know what to say. I’m so tired from all the cycling with him. About an hour later I get a text. It’s a picture of the GPS and he typed he’d shove that up his ass so I would always know where he was. I text back – all I need to know if when you’d like to see or talk to our children. There’s been no further communication.
Our daughter is struggling with his disappearance (as would any child) and I try to downplay it, but not lie because I am not covering for his bad behavior. She knows he’s not here, I told her I wasn’t sure where he was but that I was sure he was ok. That he was mad at me and that has nothing to do with the love he has for her. I’m sure he misses her too yada yada yada…..so I partially lied. I do want to spare her hurt but she knows she can’t count on him. She feels this isn’t normal. She wants to fix it even though I explain to her that that isn’t her job. Her job was to be 6 and be happy. Her job was to learn, make friends, and be excited about Christmas. I feel bad for her and our son. He is acting out. I know why. I’m not sure if he realizes it but for a 4 year old he has been really angry for the last few days. Then he just says, “Mommy, I love you” and wants me to pick him up. To hold him.
I just love them.

If I can just stay strong.
I can do this.
We will be fine and a family.
just the 3 of us.
We already are.

❤️

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