I thought it would be a easy to write often but it isn’t . Mainly I think being in the spiraling force of someone else’s chaos is exhausting. I don’t even like to write down all the things that I’ve allowed, and not ran away from. It makes me feel alone, but I’m not. I’m not lost. He’s lost. I’m just caught in the rip current because he is my husband and we have a family. That is not something I can run away from because of anger, hurt, wounded feelings. Running isn’t the answer…planning is. Carefully planning my future while raising and loving our children. They are precious. I worry about their future and how they look at marriage and relationships but worry doesn’t get you anywhere. Planning does. I plan to do my best, slowly, safely, and honestly doing my best to honor MY commitment until I can walk away with my head held high, holding my little one’s hands.
Blue sky smiling on me :). There’s something about a clear, blue sky that makes me feel strong. I am doing my best and one day when I let these secrets go I will help others like me.