Do you hear yourself?

This week there have been major decisions made in my personal life as my marriage is sailing off into divorce.  Mediation is hard and scary especially since I’ve been a stay at home mom for 8 years and he has blown our savings on strip clubs, strippers and I’m sure much much worse.  I’ll make it, I hope.  I pray.  God give me the strength that I need and please help me tolerate, without breaking down, so much change.  I love our home and the memories made here.  It was were my children did their first everything’s, walking, talking, EVERYTHING!  It’s where I’ve measured their growth on the door frame beside the kitchen.  It’s the last place I have memories of my parents being in, playing with my children.  The last place they visited before they both got too sick to visit and the place I mourned them after they passed.  I have a hard time with change and I’ve had a lot of change these last few years.  Leaving this home will be a very emotional one for me.  The memories, the places, my babies…..its just so hard.

 On a lighter note, as these decisions were being made I noticed an increase in my ability to just listen to what people say and I want to share some of it with you.  

“My son said that the last 3 women he’s taking on dates have slept with him on the first date.  Can you believe these women?” 

Do you hear it in your ears as you read it?  Do you see the problem with that statement?  Did she not acknowledge that her son slept with these women on the first date too. Same problem different sex.  This is one of the problems of our nation. One of the ones not talked about. Instead some women will say, feminist women, “If a man is allowed to be so free with his sexuality so can I.”  How about we all get to know each other better, both sexes before jumping in the sack.  I’m not innocent here but really sometimes the build up to the action makes it even that much better.  Can we try to know we actually like someone before we get naked with them?  I think so.   

 Another thing that made my head tilt like a puppy, was when my children’s father said, “Don’t tell him (our son) he has a problem working math problem when it’s noisy.”  “You’re going to make him think he actually can’t and he can learn to do it.” As he was batting at his own ear to emphasis the noise of Mario Maker on the Wii U was really bothering him and after he finished saying that learning to do things when things are noisy, isn’t a real thing basically, he growled, “Turn this shit off.” ” I hate that noise!” “I can’t even think when it on and it pisses me off!”  Umm, ok.  I hear what you’re saying.  Do you?  Just a side note, our son had already mentioned to me numerous times, that it’s hard to think when it’s too noisy.  I didn’t give him this idea. 

Any of you have any stories that make you want to ask the person talking, did you just hear yourself?

Also please pray for my littles and me as we try to navigate through this next year and all the changes that are going to happen.  Please pray that I can do it all and still have time to be a great mother to them and please pray that I can find a job, house, and energy it will take for me to do it all, basically alone. 

❤️If only mommy

~Trying each day to push through with humor so the sadness won’t steal away my life.


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