That should be the title of my blog, Stories at Random. I haven’t hit a flow to this blogging world. I just get a place to self express, empty emotional baggage to a world I don’t know and not feel threatened. I mean, I honestly can’t believe the few people who’ve actually read it could possibly believe the crazy life my ex has. It’s hard for me to believe and I live it. It has knocked my life balance and that balance it what I fight to get back everyday!
Change has never been my friend. Even if the change is exciting. Even if the change is necessary. There’s a dread of the unknown and of the what ifs. What if all these changes happen and I’m lost without the comfortable steady pace I’m in, all wrapped up in my fuzzy blanket?
I guess I’ll discuss how this all began, the introduction into infidelity. No other boyfriend had ever cheated on me or left me for a replacement. Usually a decision was made to go our separate ways. My husband didn’t use that approach. I don’t think his intention was to leave me and our family life but instead have a fling on the side, until that wore out naturally, since his promises to her would never pan out. Then he’d start acting normal to me again, until another one began.
It was December 2012. Christmas has passed and we were going on our yearly vacation to Florida, to stay with my in-laws for a week. The kids looked forward to it every year. My husband had asked to go over to his dad’s house in town (it’s his 2nd house and he’s hardly ever there) to work on a train table he and his brother were trying to finish for their dad. I told him that would be fine but I was curious why he wanted to go work on it alone, usually they tried to work together.
The hours went by and he texted that he was still there. At this point it was midnight and it was ridiculous for his to still be there so I told him to come home, that there was no way he’s been doing this all night. He said he had and has gotten a lot done. He’d send me a picture.
*Does anyone else see the black women’s boots in the back right corner?
So, this was where it all began. Those black boots and from there everything has been spiraling down.
I confronted him immediately and he denied it, but he was home in 5 minutes and it was a 10 minute drive. He climbed in our bed and his heart was beating through his chest, and I knew. I knew my life would never be the same and it never was. Unfortunately I would’ve never guess he’d be a cheater and being the one cheated on….WORST FEELING EVER!!!
Too bad we didn’t move on from this event but it wasn’t that simple. It would’ve prevented a lot of other pain.
If only –
Life lessons are to be learned or repeated. I’ve been going around in circles too long.