Money matters

Money matters and without it I don’t exist?

I have an attorney. I owe her thousands of dollars. She is lovely. She is kind. She is not free. 
I don’t call her for advice because I can’t afford it. I want to be able to take care of my children but my husband isn’t paying his spousal support & I can’t pay her for advice. I can’t file contempt papers, or whatever they’re called, without her because I employ her but I can’t afford her. I can’t fire her to file these papers because I can’t afford to rehire her and I’m scared I may need her. I feel invisible. I feel like unless I have more money I can’t receive justice.  
I am looking for jobs but I’m falling further and further in debt as he refuses to pay me fully. This is suffocating. 
My husband has created this mess. I can’t take much blame because I didn’t intentionally do anything wrong. I would have tried to fix our marriage but there was never that option. My husband cheated, lied, spent all of our savings on his own desires and now I’m left scared. Unable to afford to defend myself and protect our children even though he is still doing wrong.
So does this mean he wins? It sure feels like it. I’m afraid and I feel sad. Is justice only given to those who can afford justice? Americans can’t protect their children, treat their illnesses or educate their children without going in debt. Everything is wrong with this.  
Growth in our country can never occur if it only protects the ones that do wrong and pay their way out of it. The people who could make a difference, create a change, are the poor, wounded souls, left behind because someone who had more beat them down and now they believe they are nothing. Not worthy. But these are the people who know how to change. These are the individuals who know how to build up a new world from nothing. These people are strong, determined, resilent. These individuals define strength. The others just dictate by payment only. This is our country. Those are our leaders. 
Prayers are needed for me but I will also pray for all of you. We all need a positive change.  
Much love to you❤️




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