Divorce club sucks

 Divorce club sucks.   I wrote that at the bottom of a comment I made,  on the divorce/male relationship guru Matt guys blog, Must Be This Tall to Ride, when it hit me….divorce club does SUCK!  I mean I initiated the process, but it was because of new developed safety issues and extreme adultery problem.  I had no choice.  

Here are the ways that divorce sucks for me.

  • I don’t believe in divorce.  I believe marriage is forever and you work problems out. Sorry, I had no choice on this one.
  • It’s embarrassing,  “Hey look at me…I’m a failure.”
  • It makes me feel unlovable.  I know, I know, poor me.  Boo hoo, get over it…right.
  • I do not know how to sharpen lawnmower blades and I don’t feel empowered by finding out how or taking them some where to do it.  It just makes me feel divorced.  “Hey, Chester (made up name) can you sharpen my,uh…here blade.”  Nope, I’ll continue to use my lawn hacker and hope it does something to make the grass…uh huuum…weeds shorter.
  • Weeds…seriously, stay to the weedy areas and stop dominating my yard.  I need a minute to figure it out!  You’re way too aggressive.
  • Clothes dryer, I don’t understand why you stop heating up for me.  Now it seems I’m going to have to get personal with you and I don’t know what a heating coil looks like or where to find it….just give it up. 
  • Kitchen sink, I love you….I promise I do but it seems we had some miscommunication last night.  I did not need to wash my feet.  So, there’s no need to flood under you, and out of the cabinet door onto my feet, in front of you.  Let’s not do that again.  I’ll give you a day to think about it.
  • Check engine light (aka blinky), I see you.  I know you’re there.  You visit often and I see you.  There’s no need to start blinking and threatening to overheat or catch something on fire…I appreciate you and I will say that more often, just don’t blink when I get in to drive you again today.  Agree?
  • Lonely bed, why am I so lonely in you.  You try to make me comfortable but you’re so big and I miss sharing you with someone else.  Maybe one day you’ll be happy bed again.  I haven’t giving up on that yet.  We need a new mate.  We need time.  I’m no ho bed so it’s going to be longer than either of us want.  That you for helping me dream about not being alone.  That’s very nice of you.

So you see, divorce does suck!  Everything’s breaking, no ones here to help me, I’m lonely and now talking to appliances and furniture…not really, they talk to me. Hahaha. Divorce is so lonely.  I need a faux boyfriend.  Just someone to pretend to love me until I get over this hump.  

Any takers😉😋😉?  I’m not unpleasant to look at on a good day!  Haha!  What a sell!  Just kidding.  I do not want a faux boyfriend per online stranger.  I’ll have to find someone around here to give me hugs. 

Divorce sucks 

Divorce sucks 

Divorce sucks

Blows! 

And I hate you and my empty “someone loves me forever” finger….diamond, I still love you and we will find a way to be together.  You always sparkled for me and that was so special💍❤️.  Maybe I’ll wear you once more before the divorce is final. A little weird but who cares.  

Divorce 🖕🏻

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