5 Stages 


Stages of grief.  There have been times I think I’ve made it through them all, when life brings me back to reality.  The only one I can honestly say I’ve made it through is bargaining.  I’m not trying to make it work anymore.  I’m not begging him to turn back into the person I thought he was because I know the person he is now, is the person he “is”.  The other person, that I fell in love with, and built a family with, doesn’t exist.  He never did. 

Sex addicted husband 

Cheater

Emotional abuser

Physical abuser (minor but still enough to fear it happening majorly)

Abandonment

Hate

To be brutally honest, and that’s hard for me to do, I think I live in 3 stages, denial & isolation, anger, and depression.  This doesn’t mean every day I’m sad and blue. I’m outwardly happy most of the time but inside one of those 3 is lingering deep down, waiting to find a way up and out.

When will I reach acceptance?  I’ve thought I was there many time before.  Maybe when I feel more in control. I’m still working on that.

When did you?

“This can’t be my life!”  I have said this often.  I’m sure I’m not the only one.  This is just harder to get through than I’d like to admit…to myself.

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10 thoughts on “5 Stages 

    • I’m ok. I hate fall….it didn’t help. I’m just tired of the baggage. I don’t love my ex anymore. I just miss who he use to pretend to be. I miss being married. I REALLY miss my parents! Their death date anniversaries are coming up in deathvember. Always bums me out!

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      • Fall is a tricky one. Its either beautiful or…Find a Bridge.

        I know exACTly what you’re saying. That stage of it killed me. I missed shitty weather mornings like this and being warm in the house with my wife. Not having to go out. I missed the partnership and working out family stuff together. I miss having someone who knew me better than anyone on the earth. Well….fuck. Yep, I get it.

        Sorry about your folks, dear. Try to hang on 😉

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        • Thank you 🙂. Yes, I miss the one who knew me better than anyone else and would work out family issues with….too bad he was stock piling that info to hurt me later. I have a hard time with that one. Understanding how ANYONE would treat anyone else badly and not care about how they were distorting the person they vowed to love forever. I mean I understand his disorder. I guess I just don’t understand how such disorders exist. It’s explains a lot of things.
          It’s so lonely parenting alone without anyone to talk to about it that would care. You know, that knows my children like only a parent or one of my parents would. It’s ok, they’ve got me and I’m effin stronger than I even want to be 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻.

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          • I know…tends to feel like all that work was a waste. Like you gotta start over. And you do. Just different goals now. Now you have them to yourself. There’s lots of plusses to that.

            Liked by 1 person

    • ☹️. Sucks! I didn’t think I was in denial but I think, at times, my mind lets me think he’s on a business trip. Weird, huh? I don’t really think that but that’s the kind of denial I think I’m in. Maybe I do it to survive some days.
      Hugs to you.

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