I’ve never been that big on New Years resolutions but tonight at dinner my daughter wanted me to come up with one. My little boy’s resolution was to play more video games with mommy (aka me), and my daughter’s was to do more things as a family (still trying to put her dad and I back together 😞…so sad). My night didn’t work out as I would have liked but what does…really. It was my exe’s weekend night with them and I didn’t want to make plans with or without them until I knew, so I didn’t really make any. We hadn’t heard from their dad today or yesterday and only I heard from him the day before (another long story that I’ll talk about later). I figured he’d try to blow them off since his priority is himself and New Years Eve is a time for him to go out and party. He doesn’t want kids this night. I got in the shower after sending out a few texts to get some plans together. After being in for like a minute I heard my dog barking like someone was at the door. I figured it was a neighborhood kid and kept showing. When I got out I heard him. My ex was talking to the kids. He just decided he’d barg in knowing I wasn’t going to kick him out and upset our children. I knew what he was doing. He missed his dinner night with the kids this week. He attempted to reschedule it for the day after and missed that day too, so he was here to do his daddy duty for an hour before he had to go out and party. Since he was here and I didn’t want to drag the kids to the store, I figured I’d use this opportunity to run out alone. I told him I was running to the store and I’d be right back, and he told me not to take long that he had to go, he had dinner plans with A LOT of people. I think my top was about to blow. He doesn’t have that many friends so a lot of friends is highly unlikely. He somehow got invited to something with his new girlfriend I’m sure but he was assuming he could ignore his responsibility to take care of our kids during his time. He tried to act like he was clueless but he is an aweful liar and he’d already sent me two texts last week trying to slyly get out of his duties. Reality, he’s just going to do what he wants no matter what. If it hurts our kids, so be it. If he misses an obligation, who cares. He is going to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I hate him.
So my resolution is that I will accept all the ups and downs this new year brings and try to find something positive in all of it, even when there seems there isn’t anything positive there. That was the best I could come up with. I haven’t had the best week and tonight is just another night. I’ll find my new way one way or another. I will start dating more this year. I deserve to find someone to spend the rest of my life with one day. Until then I deserve to find some exciting guys to have fun with until I’m ready for that day to come.
Happy New Year 🎊🎆🎈
I wish all of you a better year than the last. Whatever that means to you.