Silent Fear

When he starts working hard, after so long, to gain back people’s trust, I  know he’s getting ready to take me down…..again.  This normal isn’t real but I hope I’m not the only one who sees.  I’m afraid.  I know his patterns and this is a major shift.  This isn’t going to be little.  Maybe he’s trying to take advantage of someone else.  There’s no way it doesn’t involve me.  No way.  A change is coming and I’m putting this here so I can look back and see that I felt it.  That I knew. Mentioning it to anyone is pointless. No one really sees until it happens.  He hates the control I’ve gained and that he can’t steal back from me.  He’ll never stop trying.  Never. Fuck I’m scared.  


10 thoughts on “Silent Fear

  1. Was thinking one thing…..I also get these senses about my Ex and in the past I would start reacting in a way that would provoke something. I started to notice that I was indeed provoking something that wasn’t really happening. I started to notice that he had changed too and ALSO did not want to get into battles but that he was actually starting to move on for himself. I do not know your ex and no need to respond BUT just wanted to plant that possibility. A lot changed for me when I started to realize he had changed. Same time important to keep our spidy senses! Love and light to you!


    • I try not to react to him. I’ve done exactly what you’re saying numerous times before. He has a personality disorder so he can only fake some behaviors. He isn’t just changing. It isn’t possible. He doesn’t care about other people at all unless it benefits him in someway and not like a long term benefit. More like an immediate benefit. A lot of people get that he’s like this and aren’t fooled but if someone doesn’t understand or believe how he operates, they can be easily fooled. He’s spent his entire life mimicking what are thought of as *normal* behaviors. It’s extremely complicated and scary. It’s been my life so I can feel the shift in behaviors almost like when rain appears out of nowhere on a sunny day.

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      • That is scary and must be so hard. I met a man like that once and almost got pulled in. Fortunately there was A LOT of serious red flags. But extra big ones and I am so grateful for them because he was dangerous. Still hope your wrong….as do you! At least hope it doesn’t directly impact you!


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