5 years

My son’s birthday just past and in the middle of the celebration I realized how I’ve been living the last 5 years.  My son turned 7 but when he was 2 my husband cheated on me, probably not the first time, but the first time he was caught.  Everything I thought I knew was gone in an instant and I was left there…crumbling.  Every inch of me hurt.  I hurt for my children, I hurt for myself, I hurt from the rejection, and I hurt because the one person I let in and trusted, betrayed me in the rawest, cruelest way possible.  Ever since that day I’ve been crawling out of the sink hole that sucked me down.  Everyday o linger somewhere between broken & defeated and happy and determined.  Every day I fight weakness and claim strength.  Everyday I feel the doubt creeping up and I run from it.  Everyday.

Everyday I feel ugly but tell myself I’m not.

Everyday I feel not good enough but I know that I am.

Everyday I battle.

One day I will win.

One day.

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