Being a Good Parent

Long ago when all I could do was imagine my grown up life one day, I was being parented by good parents.  They gave me space with limits.  They weren’t  perfect but I sure knew to say, “Yes, Ma’am and Yes, Sir”, respect my elders, how to write a thank you note, and how it was important to give to others.  I was taught to respect myself and to not ever give up too.  And above all, I was told I was loved and I was.  I knew my parents loved me.  I never had reason to doubt it.  

Then one day came and just like that, I was a parent.  I was shocked by the amount of love I felt instantly for this little, tiny, baby and I was amazed that I never knew how much my parents actually loved me!  I couldn’t believe what I thought wasn’t even close and I understood them so much more.  

Everyday since becoming a parent I’ve tried my hardest to be the best mother I could be.  I’ve had visions of who I wanted to be as a mother my entire life and every day I attempt being her.  I wouldn’t have a clue how to do it if my own mother hadn’t been so great.  To be a great parent, the easiest way is to be from great parents.  We repeat the patterns we’ve been taught to repeat.  If we don’t have great parents, we’ve known someone we thought was one and we could possibly try to copy their patterns.  Or maybe if we needed an example we could find guidance.  With the love I felt for my children, I’m sure I would have tried my hardest, even if I hadn’t been shown the best examples. 

Today I’m baffled by how many parents fail at their job.  They disappear or are selfish.  They’re lazy and don’t care.  Maybe they’re just doing what was done to them.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that we all should try to be better parents than the ones we had.  Even if ours were pretty great.  If yours weren’t, why wouldn’t you envision your own childhood and give them what you wished you had?  Why is that so hard.  Remember yourself as a child and heal yourself by being a better parent than the one that failed you.  How could you not try?

I’m lucky that I had two parents that loved me.  I really am.  I was lucky enough to have 2 healthy happy children.  I have not been lucky in lots of other ways.  I will never let that affect who I am as a parent to my babies.  I wish others could feel that same way too.  I wish before cheaters cheated they’d think about how this could hurt their children.  I wish before abusers beat or ripped someone apart with words, they’d think about how that was changing their children forever.  I wish that when people do seperate and/or eventually divorce that they would put their children before their dating life or their social life.  It makes children feel last when they constantly feel like they’re last in place in your priorities.  

I’ve seen an article floating around Facebook lately about letting your children know you’re the most important person in your family, not them.  I get the point of this article but it doesn’t read right to me.  How about let’s put family first and together as a unit our family is most important.  Not any one member.  That just sounds better to me. Family.  We should all try to have better families even when it’s just a mom and her two kids, like me. 

Much Love ~ iom

Untouchable

This one I didn’t think I could touch but it wouldn’t be right not to acknowledge it when the emotions run so deep.  Although most of you or maybe none of you even know why this song is so important but it is huge to me.  The tragedy, the bands I’ve always followed, and the music that’s helped keep me alive, this one is one that hurts and heals in union.  To all the songs that have spoken to my soul, this one was needed.  Thanks to Gregg Allman for always leading the pack.   The little boys who idealized you and grew up to form bands of their own and becoming some of my favorites, thank you.  I’ve watched you play so many times and your voice and the emotion behind it never failed to amaze.  You will be missed.

Don’t be Careless


Some people give a shit and some people just don’t.  Don’t be careless.  Pay attention to those who don’t acknowledge your pain.  They will only hurt you worse.  

People make mistakes but the ones who admit them, and ask for forgiveness are better than the ones who appear to be perfect but are actually cold and distant.  

Be human.

Be real.

Have a heart.

🦄If Only Mommy

“Turn on Your Love Light”

RIP Col Bruce Hampton

“Turn On Your Love Light”
Without a warning you broke my heart

You took it darling and you tore it apart

You left me sitting in the dark crying

You said your love light for me was dying
I’m begging you baby

Baby please

I’m begging you baby

Baby please

Turn on the light

Let it shine on me

Turn on your love light

Let it shine on me

Let it shine, shine, shine

Let it shine

Rowww!
I get a little lonely in the middle of the night

I need you darling to make things all right
Come on baby

Come on please

Come on baby

Baby please
Turn on the light

Let it shine on me

Turn on your love light

Let it shine on me
I said a little bit higher (a little bit higher)

A little bit higher (a little bit higher)

Just a little bit higher (a little bit higher)

A little bit higher (a little bit higher)
Come on baby

Come on please

I’m begging you baby

I’m down on my knees

Turn on the light (turn on the light)

Let it shine on me (let it shine on me)

Turn on your love light (turn on your love light)

Let it shine on me (let it shine on me)

I feel all right! (I feel all right!)

I feel all right! (I feel all right!)

I feel all right! (I feel all right!)

I feel all right!
Oh let it shine, shine, shine

Let it shine (come on … yeah)

“Are You My Mommy?”

I spend a lot of my life thinking what were you thinking?!  I think it’s because I do idiotic things based on the fact that I refuse to be negative…well at least a refuse to be that way 88.4% of he time.  The rest of the time I’m Debbie Downer.  I’ll blame it on menustration (& now I’ve lost any male readers I may have had 😂).  So basically the majority of the time I see the future turning out ok.  Obviously my rose colored glasses have been laced with MDMA and I’m reacting to that 🌈.  

Today at my daughter’s soccer game I noticed 2 things. First, I am the loudest parent there.  Like I’m that mom.  What happened to me?!?!  Second, I yell out these crazy positive things to them when they miss a goal or get scored on etc.  Like I’m running around throwing glitter 🙄.  One of my fellow soccer mom friends asked me if I’d be her mom because I was so positive 😂.  Of course I said sure. 

Most of my what the hell were you thinking time is spent on why I give so many people 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th…to infinity chances!  Why?  Am I a glutton for punishment?  Who knows.  Maybe chances never run out with me.  Maybe I see something inside people that they don’t even see, or maybe I’m just an idiot.  Only time will tell but until then, yes I will be your mommy 😂😂😂.

With hope, happiness, & love,

If Only Mommy❤️